Brown Penny

I find a penny on the floor while cleaning.
Round, brown, innocent penny, it sits in my hand and tells my past.
***
Daddy would be mad at me if I opened the box. "You have to save."
Mommy would be mad if I didn't. "Don't you want to buy your brother and sister ice cream?"

The box was black and shiny with gold trim.
It was fun to drop pennies in the slit on top.

The pennies were from my Daddy's pocket.
They smelled tangy and sweaty like wood chips and loose hay.

When Daddy wasn't looking I snuck one into my mouth to taste.

Daddy asked me where the money had gone--all those pennies!
I told him my brother and sister used it for ice cream.

Mommy said, "There's plenty of money for YOUR child--you empty your pockets for YOUR child, but not for my children."

She said it like she hated me. Like I wasn't really her baby, but I knew I was from her belly like the others.

They argued while I sucked on a penny.

That night I dreamed of a blue tree with orange leaves that clung to her branches no matter how she tried to shake them off.

The next day, she was gone with my brother and sister.
***
I put the old penny I found on the floor in a jar I keep for change.
The little black bank my daddy gave me when I was small is gone. Years ago, I smashed it.